Monthly Archives: October 2022

Introducing Moose Lee

My name is Moose Lee, and I’m a freakin’ bad ass. I got famous being a running back in the NFL. My band Moose Attack, for which I play lead guitar, was also semi-famous, but using my rack to mow down people was my claim to fame… literally.

Since I retired from football I have been a private detective. You may ask how does a moose lay low like private dicks often have to do. I rely on people thinking they’re hallucinating. I mean who in their right mind would believe a moose would be hiding behind some house plant. So I get by. You’ll see as I recount my exploits and seeing is believing.

Then there;s also the fact that I’m a Mystic, but explaining that will have to wait for at least a bit of the story to unfold… trust me, you won’t believe any of it otherwise.

A Decision On The Basis for The Way Of The Mystic Of Cascadia

Today I made a decision on what I will base the story on. I’m going to over lay the story of the Mystic on top of my family’s pioneer history. I want to simply interject the story of the Mystic into the story of my family’s Oregon Trail, wagon train past, as well the awarding of the land grant to my ancestors. There’s enough meat on the skeleton of my family’s pioneer history to provide a substantial back drop to the Mystics story.

I believe I have a shit load of research in front of me before I can start writing and unfortunately I have to put that research on a back burner at this time. I’ll work on it as time allows, but it just won’t be a high priority… at this time… eventually I expect this will change and I’d like to put significant time into the project.

As always any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Songs To Learn (priority order)

  • Chop You Up by Ben Rice
  • Tush by ZZ Top
  • Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin
  • Cheap Sunglasses by ZZ Top
  • The Booty Song by Little Charlie and the Nightcats
  • Don’t Do It by Little Charlie and the Nightcats
  • My Next Ex-Wife by Little Charlie and the Nightcats
  • Dump That Chump by Little Charlie and the Nightcats
  • I’ll Take You Back by Little Charlie and the Nightcats
  • Can’t Keep It Up by Little Charlie and the Nightcats
  • Gerontology by Little Charlie and the Nightcats
  • Sure Seems Strange by Little Charlie and the Nightcats

Moose Lee, World’s Greatest Running Back

Believe it or not, Moose Lee played running back for Oregon State University. It was a little awkward to have a moose hanging out with a bunch of beavers, but it worked out killer to have him as a blazing fire ball running through defensive lines. Having horns were pretty useful for a running back, although getting that massive rack through the ear holes of the helmet was a bit of a challenge. Unfortunately he was forced to quit after decapitating a moron who tried to spear him in the head. Moose just turned his head and the antlers took care of the rest. The morons head did sail through the uprights for three points. Well, at least some folks that it should have counted. Such was the short career of the world’s greatest running back.

The Adventures of Moose Lee and his sidekick the Mystic Wasabi

Moose Lee stood out in a crowd. SIx foot nine inches put him a foot over the national average. Then there was his antlers. A twenty-one point rack gave him an additional eight inches in height. Seven feet seven inches from hoof to top point, and a stare as piercing as hardened steel. Moose Lee gazed at the world like the dominate male of the heard he was.

Wasabe was an entirely different matter. His gaze was as serene as a deep forest lake. His eyes as all knowing as his Mytic powers allowed him to know the truth. Barely five feet tall he was a stark contrast to Moose Lee’s great height. But none questioned his Kung Fu prowess more than once, for he never lost in hand to hand combat, and he always ended things by befriending his opponent.

A Battle Of Moray Eels

Both sides were entrenched like a family of Moray eels: hidden from sight, but ready to make a lightning strike, both figuratively and literally. But the mountain folk had a distinct advantage: Falcao, the Mystic of Cascadia, was among their number. He could sense the lie in the river folks position. There would be no surprise by the river folk’s soldiers, their true position being known by the Mystic. Such was the fate of those who attacked the mountain dwellers. The advantage provided by the Mystic of Cascadia was more than what their opponents could compensate for.

So the battle was over before it began. When the river folk sprung their trap, they found the mountain dwellers no where to be seen, just to have them appear at the river folk’s backs, weapons raised, and demanding surrender. The river folks had no other option than complying. They were tied to the masts of their ships, and set adrift to be carried by the current away to the ocean. Such overwhelming victory, and soul crushing defeat, would mar the tenuous relationship between river rat and mountain owl for generations to come.

The Long Dark Road

When the wind started to blow the temperature dropped like a dead body. The caravan had already lost five wagons, it couldn’t lose another and hope to stay profitable. They’d lost three wagons to bandits, the other two to wolves. In every case, the wind had started to blow before the attack occurred. Magic was definitely involved in the hard fortunes on the road to the capital.

They’d just come around a blind corner when caravan leader Monsono called a halt. In the middle of the road was a dead dear, mutilated as if it had been beaten with a sledge hammer. “Burn it, ” Monsono barked at his subordinates. A call for oil was made and in short order the corpse was burning furiously. The light from the fire lit up the forest, but it felt as though the flames gave off no heat. Monsono’s second in command muttered under his breath, “Cursed, I say, the caravan is cursed.”

“Watch your tongue ,” Monsono rebuked, “don’t spook the men, we’ll end up being the only ones left to bring the caravan home.” At that a wolf howled just out of the range of the light from the fire, and growling could be heard from the blackness of the forest As the growling intensified, the caravan horses began to prance in fear.

Then a voice spoke out of nowhere. “You’ll have no trouble with our wolves, if you just leave us your wagons. Don’t test us… you’ve seen what the wolves can do.”

Monsono stared as the voice stepped from out of the shadow. “You,” Monsono accused, “I should of known. Only you would torture an animal like you did to make a point. Damn you, Falcao, you’re suppose to be dead.”

“Not yet,” Falcao said. “At least not until I stand over your cooling carcass.”

Monsono stared at the man and new he was about to die at the hand of The Mystic Of Cascadia, a fate all feared.

The Choice Is All But Made

The council had broken for the evening. It’s members mulled around, talking together in little groups. It became obvious there was a consensus in the room. The first vote would elect Falcao as The Mystic Of Cascadia, and after that no one could deny him his ascension to the title they all wished they were qualified for. Falcao would lead them in his own special way, and everybody new they’d be the better for it.

All that being said, some still held out for their chance at wearing the Cascadia title. Furtive looks around the room suggested Falcao’s new rein may not last as long as many hoped.

The Pantheon Of Power

In the pantheon of people with magical power, the following ranking exists:

magicians – people without magical power but who have learned how to manipulate magic through spells and other rituals.

witches and warlocks – the least powerful of those with innate power, varying levels of knowledge on how to use it.

wizards and sorcerers – people with a great deal of innate power, and varying degrees of knowledge on how to use it.

Mystics – mystics are essentially wizards/warlocks but have special “mystical” knowledge which enables them to multiply their innate power many fold.

It Is What It Is

i never know how to feel about it. It just doesn’t feel fair that I can tell when people are lying. It’s like an unfair advantage. But it is what it is. I can’t change who and what I am. I just have to do my best to make sure I use this advantage to help as many people as possible. So easier said than done, you can’t believe it.